~ 1/06/2006 12:02:00 AM ~
Friday, January 06, 2006
[worried me 2]
i've actually been sorta telling myself, i wanna train and play real hard and well this yr..
i mustn't and cannot hold myself back any longer.
come on lynne. u can do it. get back ur form.
u were once there... there shouldnt be any reason stopping you from being there again.
beLieve.. and DO IT! plz...!!!!!
haven played bad for real long le..
and given my health now..
pluz all the while my horribly performance..
how far can i actually go?
all these bullshit bout ppl thinking i got potential.
say i "gooD"..
it's all but a biG f-ed up mistakE!!!
words dun matter now...
it's all action and performance..
wonder how i'll fair on sat..
in sports, visualisation is suppose to support beta performance..
but i'm always dreaming bout being able to run in court, hit perfect shots.....
well.. maybe im really juz "DrEaMInG"..
wad i hope for is so diff in reality..
den again... wad most of us hope for is usually diff from reality.. which is y in the 1st place we hope for improvement...
but den again..
i was much beta in the past..
wad's become of me now??
has my passion dissolved into something lesser?
or is it my surroundings, environment tt has changed me..
i should stop finding excuses as such and instead do sth about it..
wad's my concern for now is.. do i have the time and ability to do so?
~ 1/05/2006 11:19:00 PM ~
Thursday, January 05, 2006
[worried me]
received a forwarded sms. said tt this coming sat's trg is impt.
there's gonna be selections for national sch team.
so fast already?
i tot she said it'll be a very last min thing so tt all of us will continue to train hard all the way..
i was fearful to see tt msg..
moreover the last part of the sms stated "absentism w/o reason and late coming are definitely gonna rule u out almost immediately"
and she even ended it off with a beautiful touch of "i warn." b4 signing off.
wow.. rockS...
i missed wed's gym.. msged her..
sighed she did. but told me to take care and go for fri's gym.
i wonder wad would happen if i missed tml's gym..
im not even sure if im going to sch for one thing.
i cant predict the future.. even if it's the super near future of tml or the day after..
would my fever subside? or would i have to go back to the doc's?
now, going back to the doc's isnt wad i want.
it means i have to take blood test which would probably end up with some undesirable results since if by then not recovering = bad bad bad...
~ 1/05/2006 11:13:00 PM ~
乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明 就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看得清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁 只剩挥散不去的难过
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠夺天边 北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶 却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间 两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面 我要的只是你在我身边
乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明 就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看得清
在山腰间飘逸的红雨 随着北风凋零
我轻轻摇曳风铃
想 唤醒被遗忘的爱情雪花已铺满了
地深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
~ 1/04/2006 06:35:00 PM ~
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
[SiCk =( ...]
hai.. today suppose to play ball de loh...
but i had to forgo tt cuz the fever which subsided last nite came back again!!!
well.. i missed CCA walk about and gym too...
man i heard the walk about was quite fun...
wish i could have been there.. but i was slping den.. -_-"
*yAwN*...
weird leh.. last nite cuz fever so i actually went to bed early.. say.. 11?
den morning still tired.. but hai hao la..
abit sian to go sch...
well.. i shouldnt even have gone... only had phy tutorial.. which was as good as having nth...
but by then already felt the fever coming back.. cuz i was COLD!!!
hmm.. v long nv fever lidat le..
last time used to feel heated up only.. but now is cold!!
den would think wad it was like to be cold.. shuanG???
-NAH-
now i want the fever to go away!!
shoo fever shoo!!!
doc gave me a 2 days mc.. i beta recover by then... PLEASE!!!!
i dun wan to take blood test and den declare i got dengue or avian flu!!!
no no no... cant let tt happen..
so i muz recover QUICK...
sigh... slept 2 times already juz today.. now... going to 7 le..
feeling cold again.. so hu leng hu re wan... and tired...
siAN aH! i dunno wad to do!!! dun wanna do maths!!!
~ 1/03/2006 06:30:00 PM ~
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
[ThaNkEeEWww =) [3]]
im not done yet!
i still have venus to thank too!!!
she did the same thing!!! writing formulas and askin some qns which i realised i couldnt ans..
and i think a part of wad she told me came out!!!
at least tt's wad i think la... dun even noe if the qns was tt.. but i juz ans her ans... haha!
thanks venuS!!!!
would also like to thank some advisors... ian, nic, jb...
as well as encouragerS!! - berd, ben, fj, pw, wy, rach, bu, hs, heady and chong!!!
oh.. heady and chong.. u all msged me all of sudden.. i quite shock... cuz it seems something more than giving me luck for R ppr... was it at bu'z house?? it was bcuz of my mum... well.. anw im a happy girl once more... so no worries and thanks for everything!!!!
~ 1/03/2006 06:14:00 PM ~
i told him i had more or less given up le..
and he actually said sth which in my personal opinion.. isn't exactly wad u call inspiring...but.. somehow seem to hold some kind of aspect in tt sense la.. (dunno wad am saying man!!)
this was wad his tuition teacher told them:
when he was in U, he didn't study at all for a particular exam. but he went in very relaxed, thinking he would fail anyway..
end up, he did a little, told himself there must be something else he could do..then he did somemore..and more
den he passed.
WoW.. is that wad u mite say... jian chi dao zhui hou? zhi yao zhai jing ji guan tou bu fang qi, jue wang hui bian cheng xi wang???
well.. wad hit me the 1st instant was actually "he muz either be a lier.. or juz freakin smart"
out of point.. but from there.. weihao actually helped me alot alot..
instead of encouraging words..
he typed out impt formulaes and stuff that i should take note of..
somehow, i was encouraged to get back to studying.. tt even if i were to fail.. at least i have tried my best.. even though i studied mostly definitions (came out alot in promos and i din memorise any!) and none came out today...
so yea.. im v grateful to him..
~ 1/03/2006 06:02:00 PM ~
many concerned friends of mine would probably ask this :
"how was physics R?"
well..those who basically knew i was having this retake LaSt YR would have known tt i din feel confident about passing den...
till now... i juz have to say it's the same even after taking the ppr...
i think i'll fail...
actually, i was on the breakin point yesterday..
couldn't get down to finish up the last few chaps..
and din even practice any qns!!!!
i had almost officially GIVEN UP.. and while i still had some time..
i was using it to ponder whether i should pop the qns to Mummy..
"can i DROP phy.."
in the end.. i went online.. to try looking for some sort of comfort or encouragement..
yea i did get some "jiAyouS" and "good luck"..
but since i had already chose to fang qi... those din help much...
den suddenly... out of nowhere, popped out another gd luck.. it was weihao from my senior class.. i wasnt expecting the following event to happen.. especially since we nv really spoke to each other...
continued....
~ 1/03/2006 05:54:00 PM ~
[a different me.. how ridiculouS!]
the me b4 and after exams are so totally different...
b4 is juz stress stress stress and more stress...
after is... free and easy.. like i've finally gotten done and over with sth really really major and i can now sit back and shake legs le...
well.. yes.. tt's wad i did today.. rite after my physics R.. I PONNED LESSONS...
went to parkway with twins to eat.. erm.. tt's bcuz the canteen venders "refused" to sell us food.. seems tt all the food have been taken up by the new yr 1s!!!
omg.. 1st day being a JC2.. senior.. wad do i feel?? erm.. actually.. nth... -_-"
anw if u are reading this.. means u have seen the CoOl thing i did to my blog?!??
some animated pictures and photos running about... and also.. i think i did fix tt photobucket expiry thing...
tell me if anything's wrong ok.. like if u cant see the above mentioned.. and i'll erm.. probably not try to fix it until it doesnt show on my com too... =) ahaha!!!!!!
